Naruto x Gundam Wing ficlet collection
by Asuka Kureru
Summary: Like the title says. Mostly humor; may contain gen, het or yaoi. Characters involved: Team Seven, Ino, Heero, Duo, Wufei...
1. Wufei, team Seven, FIGHT

**Naruto x Gundam Wing crossover ficlets**

**What this is**: A collection of random ficlets and short stories. (The method of crossover isn't always the same (sometimes there isn't even one.) The characters involved aren't always the same. The timeline in both shows... etcetera. Some of the ficlets are yaoi or het, some are utterly without pairings. They'll be marked as such. Most of them are **humor**. Not all of them might be.)

**What this is not**: A multipart with an overarching storyline. Something I'll update with anything regarding regularity. To be taken seriously.

* * *

Story: Wufei versus Team Seven, fight!  
Genre: gen, humor, some action.  
For Edenfalling.

**Mission**

"You're a _ninja_?"

The intruder gave a wide, obnoxious grin and nodded, totally ignoring the gun that Wufei was still pointing at his face. "Uh huh!!"

Wufei gave the grinning, bright-orange-clad kid who had just jumped out of the bushes a long, unconvinced look. "...As in... spy, assassin... _discreet_..."

"Yeah! Oh hey, there's a door in your statue-thing!"

Wufei resisted the urge to gape as the kid ran up Shenlong's leg. How on Earth did he stick to the metal? Maybe his shoes had suction cups -- and he was getting inside his Gundam! Gritting his teeth, Wufei grabbed the wire and tugged, zipping up to the cockpit.

The blond kid was sitting in the command chair, ooh-ing and aah-ing at the screens and buttons.

"Get. Out."

"What? I didn't touch anything! Hey, why's there a little sitting room up here? Are you taking up surveillance? It would be more discreet if your statue-thing wasn't like four buildings tall, you know."

"... That's classified," Wufei growled back, gritting his teeth, and fingered his gun again.

"You mean, you have to kill me now? Oh damn. I'm sorry."

Wufei paused in the middle of taking aim. "You're sorry I have to kill you?"

"Well, yeah." The blond grinned suddenly. "I know it really blows to fail a mission."

Arrogant little -- oof! Wufei was tackled onto the lowered cockpit door, too fast to follow. His reflexes took over -- he rolled, collar in hand, a perfectly timed two-legged kick -- and swore as the kid was thrown over the edge of the door. Far over. Fuck. He hadn't quite decided to kill him yet...

There was the sound of breaking branches underneath, and he crawled quickly to the edge, back smarting.

... The orange-clad kid was swinging from a branch by his knees, a shower of leaves and broken wood raining on the forest floor. Under Wufei's eyes, he straightened up like a gymnast, waved, and then slid down the trunk as if it wasn't bark but ice, and wasn't utterly vertical to boot.

Swearing louder, Wufei knelt up, aimed -- and threw himself on his side as something metallic zinged overhead and thudded hard against the Gundanium. It skittered on the door, coming to a stop against Wufei's leg; he glanced back quickly then turned to the forest again, trying to pinpoint the one who had thrown that ...knife at him.

There -- red clothes? What the -- a girl, pink-dyed hair, how had he missed her? He shot, once, twice -- orange reflection on the metal!

Wufei narrowly managed to roll back inside his cockpit in time to avoid the main of the gust of fire roaring at him from the other side. He came to a stop sprawled uncomfortably on the floor, half under his seat, and lost a few seconds slapping his shoulder and hair to put out the flames.

There was a little asshole standing, perfectly balanced, on top of one of the tallest trees, in plain sight. Wufei didn't know where he had hidden his flamethrower (or even if he used -- later! He'd reorder his worldview when he wasn't in a fight.) What Wufei did know right now, was that his ponytail was smoldering, and his back was bruised, and his shoulder was already blistering.

And if they wanted to play with fire...

Smirking viciously, Wufei grabbed the controls, closed the cockpit, and flicked away the cap of Shenlong's flamethrower trigger.


	2. Wufei, Duo, Naruto, gen

Story: Duo doesn't believe in chakra.  
Genre: gen, humor.  
For Artimusdin.

**Wufei no Jutsu**

"You make this seal, then this one, and then you say the name and concentrate your chakra! Easy. Come on, try it." Naruto grinned; he always loved to share his technique, and they had nothing better to do so long as Kakashi-sensei wasn't there yet.

"Well, that's good for my dexterity at least." Duo imitated him lazily, an amused smile on his lips.

"You're putting your fingers wrong."

Duo tried again, rolling his eyes.

"... Did I do it right?"

Naruto made a face, and leaned back in the grass, huffing. "Yeah, but you didn't put any chakra in it, so nothing happened."

"Yeah, well, I still don't get how you can control your... char-kra-something."

"Cha-kra," Wufei snapped, and looked up from the sword he was sharpening. "Your chi."

"Still not ringing a bell, Fei. Hey, maybe I don't have it; didn't start training in martial arts from birth like you lot seem to."

Wufei growled. "So long as your heart beats, you have it; and you, personally, already do know how to control it. At least to a small extent."

"... I do?"

"He does?" The pink-haired girl straightened up from her seat, interested, and wilted briefly under Wufei's gaze before smiling valiantly at him. "Usually people have to start training early, or else they can never grasp it right... and if I am right, you -- Duo-san? -- you haven't had any formal training, right?"

"He's a thief. A spy."

"Yeah, and a damn good one, but I don't see what that's got to do with it."

Wufei snorted. "You never thought it weird how rare it is for the enemy to look right at you when you don't want them to? How easily you pass for other people?"

"...huh. That's chi?"

"In its subconsciously manipulated form, yes."

"Neat. Tr--zero three is probably kickass as hell."

Wufei shrugged and turned away to take care of his sword again.

"Bah! I don't believe in chi anyway. No wonder it isn't working."

Wufei's back tensed up. Naruto opened his mouth; Duo waved at him to keep quiet, a devilish gleam in his eyes.

"Chi and chakra are the same thing," Wufei countered, "and you saw them use their... chakra."

"I saw them use their chakra, yeah," Duo drawled. "But I've never seen proof positive that all that chi business isn't a pile of new-age bullshit. And if they can use it and we can't, looks like to me that what we've got ain't no chakra at all."

Wufei sheathed his sword slowly, deliberately, and stared at Duo with narrowed eyes.

"Oh, really."

"Yeah, really." Duo was leaning back on his hands, and seemed to be losing interest. "After all, you say I've got chi, and I can't make that jutsu-thing work at all. Not even a tingle." He shrugged, snorted. "Naruto says it's easy; like, this hand shape, and then this one, and yet nothing's happening."

"You don't channel your chi into it."

"Yeah well you said it's willpower, yeah? I willed it to work and it didn't. So, bullshit. We may have chi, but as it doesn't do jack shit, I'll keep waiting to see to believe, if that's alright with you." Duo yawned, and stretched on his side, his head in his palm. "Yeah, so far, chakra ten, chi zero."

Growling, Wufei shaped a seal, and then a second. And channeled his chi.

There was a puff of smoke, and he widened his stance, suddenly uncomfortably aware of blatant changes in the flow of his chi. He had never altered his internal energies that much; he wondered, a bit late, what that particular ninja art did.

"...well."

Duo choked, eyes wide. The pink-haired girl winced and slapped her forehead with a long-suffering expression on her face.

"Well. I'll be... You're right. And I'm wrong. Naruto?" Duo grinned wide, and waved the smoke away. "You're right; he does make a surprisingly hot babe."


	3. DuoSakura het

Duo/Sakura for Tephralynn, from a challenge where people gave me two characters and a theme and I wrote them kissing. (closed now.)  
Genre: Semi-fluff, het. (post-timeskip for Naruto)

**Silly**

"So your ... gun-dan, has these things that make it invisible, but only on certain frequencies?" Sakura gives Duo an incredulous laugh. "Did no one ever look out the window?"

Duo grins and twirls the chair around to sit in front of her, arms resting on the back and legs straddling the seat.

"Nope! See, my world is awesome, and even less logical than your Jesus-magic. You should totally come back with me."

"No offense, but what would I do there? I can't use your machines to fight, and you say people don't have hair like mine, so I couldn't even be a spy."

Duo's grin softens. "You could do rescue missions. And heal. Did I tell you the story of my crazy teammate who went and fixed his own broken leg and then walked on it for hours on end like a crazy man? And the story of that time he blew himself up? And when I got taken prisoner by OZ and kinda beaten up?"

Sakura giggles. "Which time was that? You told me of two separate incidents."

Duo scratches the back of his head guiltily. "There might have been a third. ...And a fourth. We're really not that incompetent!"

"I'll believe you," she replies dryly. "Capturing you, proves they have more resources. Letting you escape _four times_ amply proves they're more incompetent than you are."

Duo beams. "Yep!"

"After all," she replies blithely, "it really isn't so hard to break a few bones in the foot to make just about anyone unable to even rest their weight on it, much less escape."

Duo swallows. Sakura smiles pleasantly.

"After all, bones break so easily. Now I believe before we started getting along so well I was leading an interrogation about your Fire Country safehouse, wasn't I?"

Duo grimaces. Sakura keeps smiling. Then she puts on her gloves.

"Fine, fine. But only 'cause I like you."

"And I wouldn't know how to turn your DeathScythe on, anyway."

"Hehe. Yeah, that too."

With a great put-upon sigh, he starts explaining the location. When he's done, Sakura grins and gathers her notes briskly. He huffs and sprawls across the table, watching her leave.

He looks so much like a kicked puppy, and there's a tiny note of very real worry in his eyes, so she goes back on her tracks and plants a quick kiss at the corner of his mouth.

"I expect you to take me along for a ride in that Gun-dan of yours. And after giving me such a hard time, you better bring me flowers, too."

Cheered up, he sits properly and grins, waving his cuffed hands. "It's a date!"

Sakura walks out of the cell still grinning.


	4. HeeroSasuke yaoi, Resigned

Kissing meme -- Heero/Sasuke, Resigned, for Luel Exana. (I AM SO SORRY. Wait, I'm not.)

* * *

"This doesn't make _sense_," Sasuke growled in frustration.

Heero watched his clenched fists and the way his eyes flickered red. "Less sense than being pulled out of your dimension by lines of ink on a flat surface and three nonsense words?"

"Yes. A _lot_ less. It's not possible to use that... _that_ as the trigger to anything, much less a summon."

Heero snorted softly. "It doesn't have to be a direct trigger. A micro-camera would be enough to tell them when the conditions are fulfilled."

This time around, they didn't get into an argument about how Sasuke hadn't seen any, and how Heero's technology was better and Sasuke just didn't know what to look for, and how Sasuke's eyes were better so that shouldn't matter etcetera. Sasuke just gave a short sigh of frustration and jerked his chin at the ceiling. "You want me to carry you."

Heero gave a short nod. It wasn't like he could stick to the walls to check the high ceilings, so that was just logical. At least Sasuke wasn't a complete idiot...

So Sasuke carried Heero up to the ceiling, and even stood perpendicular to the wall and let him use him as a seat. It did nothing, save proving that even ninjas weren't immune to lactic acid buildup in cases of prolonged muscular tension, and that if there were cameras, they were too small for the eye to see.

"... Let's try the instructions."

"No."

Heero had an end to his patience, too, and it was coming fast. "You have a better idea?"

Sasuke glared at him with his red eyes, but it took more than that to unnerve Heero.

He almost put a bullet in Sasuke when the irritated ninja leaned forward too fast and planted a short, hard kiss on his lips.

"There."

Nothing happened -- or had it? "The writing," Heero said.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "I'm not blind."

On the wall, the instructions had been amended with _'Not enough tongue.'_ Sasuke's teeth ground together hard enough for Heero to hear it.

Heero wasn't too sure how the tongue was supposed to be applied. He'd researched the subject some so he could blend in a little better, sat through a few romance movies, skimmed a few teen magazines; he wasn't entirely clueless. Never practiced it on his own, though. There was a first time to everything. He kissed Sasuke again, flicked his tongue at him until he unclenched his lips, and methodically started mapping the insides of the angry ninja's mouth.

Nothing happened, save for Sasuke's spine straightening up even more, making Heero crane his neck uncomfortably so he could keep contact. He scowled, in no mood to put up with this nonsense.

"Instructions say 'kiss each other.' This means you have to kiss me _back_."

With a little growl, Sasuke swooped down and kissed back, stiff and a little too fast.

Heero wasn't sure how he kept from biting the other boy; probably only because his halfhearted fantasies tended to involve bullets through the foot instead.

They broke apart, breathing a little harder, lips wet and puffy and eyes cold and really, really unhappy.

"Oh, _finally_," Heero muttered as he felt the sudden tug and weightlessness he had experienced only a hour and a half ago. He gave a last look at his unvoluntary companion, and then they both disappeared, hopefully to reappear where they'd come from.

* * *

Behind her screen, the fanficcer chortled evilly.

Then she realized she'd written the lamest, cheapest writing trick _ever _in the history of _ever_, and facepalmed. Damn it. Her writerly pride would never recover. Were a cracktastic kiss and a lot of tension between two favorites truly worth the unending shame?

... hell yes it was. Shame? Whazzat?


End file.
